Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dating Lessons

So, I've discovered that a lack of alcohol and men can really increase focus in your profession. As Stefka continues to crack me up, I'm recalling some of the lessons I've learned (still learning) about dating.

Lesson #1: When you see it's small, don't even try. Just run.
Anything less results in an unhappy you or just awkward occurences as you think of every reason why you have to go or why you really are so busy. For someone as transparent as myself, it can be extremely challenging to conceal fear. ("Umm..I think I'm moving to Mexico...tomorrow.")

Lesson #2: If you are double dating, don't frequent the same places.
Even in cities, this can be dangerous. And in your hometown, you constantly have to be on watch because any possible location can contain spies. Restaraunts, clubs, parks, even nail salons have exposed my double life. For example, when the guy you're dating calls and says he saw you in a Walgreen's with another guy, your lie just makes you look stupid. Especially when he obtains the security tape footage. (Which I feel is illegal- I no longer shop at Walgreens.)

Lesson #3: No matter how mad you are, try to avoid revenge hookups.
Especially when you get back together with the person. Especially when the revenge hookup happens to be the guy who stole your ex's high school girlfriend. Especially when the revenge hookup happens to be the guy in the apartment directly above the apartment your ex currently lives in. ("Funny running into you here!")

1 comment:

  1. I would add only engage in a revenge hook up when you: a.) don't speak the same language as the person you're trying to bang, b.) are in a foreign country c.) leaving that very foreign country the next day.