Saturday, January 24, 2009


This has been a week now. I can't sleep. Sleeping is one of my all-time favorite activities and it distresses me that I can't partake. For example, I went to bed around midnight and have been up since 1:30. The last time I slept through the night was last Tuesday, albeit heavy intoxication....and even that was only 5 hours. I'm the kind of girl that needs 10 hours of sleep a night, so you can only imagine how dysfunctional I've become with the 2 or 3 hours I'm getting. On top of that, I keep waking up sweating and feverish...but I'm not sick. What the heck is going on? I think it's my dreams...which remind me there are things in my head I'm pretending I've dealt with that I haven't.
For example, I was so stressed out in one of my dreams (and I am stressed out with this person in real life), that I BIT him. What makes this worse, is the fact he is 6 years old. I am thankful I am able to refrain from this behavior during waking hours.
Another dream is the ex of the Amicable Ex. I keep trying to push the dumb hoe out of my mind but she keeps coming back...and after a LONG talk with the Amicable Ex, I feel like I may have some sort of sixth sense. And long late night talks are also not condusive to sleep.
Problem is, this is affecting my daily life. I am a very organized person (not in my life exactly, but in my work and surroundings), and I have been losing things. I don't live in a very big space but I have LOST my scissors, hairspray, and glasses. I have looked everywhere and really am empathizing with those facing early dementia. The glasses pose a real problem as I am blind as a bat and can no longer read in bed or rest my eyes for an hour. (Without running into a chair or wall. At least I can see color.)
I need to sleep.

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